Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
