She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
