I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just found a bag of teeth...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
