Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
