So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize