I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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