Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
