Ambien. No doubt about it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
