Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
