Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize
