Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
