Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
