im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
