Do vagina's smell?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
