Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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