I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
