Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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