dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
