your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
