Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The uberlube is also flammable
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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