WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
