News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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