I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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