The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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