i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
