Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize