Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
