if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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