it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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