dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
