I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
