Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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