if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
