you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
