There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
