what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
