He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
