I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
