Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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