The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
