Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
