My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
