She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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