is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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