yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
