new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
