did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
