Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
