I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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