i don't like sucking hair
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
