Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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